Tuesday, November 29, 2011

GLEE Redux • I Kissed A Girl

Glee Season 3
Cyndi Lauper Dolly Parton Katy Perry
kd lang Melissa Etheridge Pink
Clockwise: Cyndi Lauper; Dolly Parton; Katy Perry; Pink; Melissa Etheridge; and kd lang.

The show opens in Principal Figgins' office, as Santana is being held accountable for slapping Finn last week. When a 2 week suspension is discussed, Finn explains he was never really hit, and everyone was fooled by a stage slap. Afterwards, when Santana wants to know why he lied, he explains he thinks she is fabulous, but spends part of the time hiding it. And he wants the New Directions and the Troubletones to work together to prepare for sectionals. Part of that is them all celebrating Lady Music Week, when everyone will prepare songs sung by ladies, for ladies. Rachel is worried that Kurt will not be able to win the election, as Brittany is bribing voters with Pixie Sticks. She talks to Kurt, who suggests he might need to cheat to win. He suggests, like JFK, he might need to stuff the ballot box. Rachel tries to convince him it won't be necessary.

Coach Beiste talks about how stretched she was, with the election coming, and her infatuation with Cooter. Mr. Schue and Ms Pillsbury offer her help with the election. It is then we learn that Coach's idea of a date is pumping iron with the hunk. Back in the Glee room, Kurt and Blaine are the first to sing Lady Music, and they dedicate Pink's F*kin' Perfect to Santana.

Sue wants a man. Although she might seem to live a lesbian existence, she wants a man. And hopes, of course, it will help her election results. While going through her list of men, she bypasses Matt Lauer, a Baldwin brother, and Dan Quayle. But she decides on her next lover... Quickly, we are in the Glee room, and Puck sings Melissa Etheridge's I'm The Only One.

Puck sings the song, staring at Ms. Corcoran, but dedicates it to Santana to divert attention. Quinn flirts with Puck, and wants Puck to come over. He turns her down, saying she is kinda crazy and scary, and he would rather 'raw dog a beehive.' In the hallway, Finn tells Santana he loves he, he really cares. If something happened, he would not forgive himself. He sings Cyndi Lauper's Girls Just Want To Have Fun.

After Coach Beiste catches Sue and Cooter on a date at a restaurant she is shaken. At the gymnasium, while the voting is going on. Sue is making out with Cooter, obviously rubbing it in Coach's face - Becky delivers a Polaroid, saying just that. Mr. Schue tells her to be patient, for when Sue loses the election, things will be different. Coach Beiste sings Dolly Parton's Jolene.

Santana is hit on at her locker by some Rugby ass, thinking she just hasn't found the right man yet. Santana starts to say something, but is joined by Rachel, Quinn, Mercedes, Tina and Brittany, who all girls sing Katy Perry's I Kissed A Girl.

Santana came out to her family, and they were okay with her. She just needs to talk to her abuela, hopefully before she sees the commercial. Principal Figgins comes in the Glee Room, and needs to see Kurt. Kurt's father is in the office, and we learn he is leading the exit polls over Sue. And we learn Kurt won the election, with more votes than students. Figgins thinks Kurt did it. He is crushed, and ran to talk to Finn and Rachel. After he leaves to find Blaine, Rachel admits she did it, for she wanted him to win so bad. Finn tells her to turn herself in, but she doesn't think she can...

Math class. Quadratic equations. Puck answers correctly. Everyone is stunned. He explains he has math covered, doing his own books for his pool care company. And he is like the beautiful mind guy, without all the crazy. But he is called out of class, and rushes to Ms. Corcoran. It seems Beth had a fall, and is at the hospital. He halds Shelby, and helps her through it. After they have sex, she asks him to leave, and he is not happy as he storms out. His feelings are really hurt. Santana has a talk to her Abuelita, her grandmother. She tells her how she only discovered love with Brittany, and her inner war to express herself. Her grandmother asks her to leave, and to never contact her again. Santana is crushed.

Quinn and Puck are making out, and Puck pulls back when he remembers he doesn't have a condom. He is shocked when Quinn wants to go forward, and have another baby. She wants to replace Beth with a new one. He tells her he understands how she has had it rough to three years now, and wants to be there for her. He sees her someplace warm, sunny and glamorous. Like Miami, Los Angeles, or Toronto. They lay there spooning, and Puck decides to share a secret of his own... Sue discovers she lost the election. In fact, she finished in third, out of three candidates. Coach Beiste walks in to ask where the relationship between Sue and Cooter is. Sue She tells Cooter she loves him, and will fight for him. Cut to the Glee room, and we find out Mr. Hummel won the election, and Kurt lost to Brittany. Rachel is not there, and Finn mentions she has something to do. Soon, Santana sings kd lang's Constant Craving.

She is joined by Ms. Corcoran, thinking about her relationship with Puck. They are also joined by Kurt, who is thinking about his dashed hopes to attend NYADA. And as the trio sing, we see a distraught Rachel walking in the hallways. After the song, she arrives at the choral room. She has an announcement. She told Principal Figgins she tried to fix the election, and was being suspended for a week. And that she was banned from competing at Sectionals. Oh no!

In a preview for next week, we see that Sam will be making an appearance, and a scantily dressed one at that!

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