From Blogger Pictures |
From Blogger Pictures |
That weekend, I was already scheduled to go on a trip to NYC to see friends, both old and new. I had a good time, but have to admit I was still a bit numb. But I got in on Friday, saw David, and met lots of new friends. We talked and drank, but I know I wasn’t really at my best form, more like riding at 80%. The weekend was a good one, and certainly the distraction I was looking for, only with the benefit of being a distraction with great people.
I came home, only to find myself still expecting to see Timon waiting. He wasn’t. But I had much on the schedule – my niece had a dance recital, and she had asked me to take pictures during the dress rehearsals, so Wednesday and Thursday nights were booked.
And there was the wedding reception of another niece on Saturday, and the baptism/birthday party for my nephew’s son. I enjoyed myself, but still was feeling a bit outside myself.
Since Timon left me, I have not been sleeping so well. I lay awake in bed, not getting to sleep. I know I am waiting for him to jump up on the bed and get his scratches, but it isn’t going to happen. I keep hoping it will get better. Perhaps it has – I haven’t really noticed yet.
Oh, Howard, I know how this is. I still miss Clancy who died in 1996 and dread the time it happens to Brigit, who has been with me for 12+ years. One of my cats, Lucy, had diabetes, and others have died from various causes. It hurts and we have to mourn their loss. I would love to have another cat after something happens to Brigit but am not sure I can go through another loss. That part is heart wrenching.
ReplyDeleteMany hugs to you and wishes for what you're going through.
Thank you Joy. I swear, I still see Timon running around the room sometimes. At this point, I couldn't think of getting another one now. Instead, I think I might have started this blog.
ReplyDeleteHi Howard, I can understand you feeling numb. Timon sounds like he was very special. When I lost my cat Raz, to liver failure, I felt numb for a week. She had been with me for fifteen years. I found her when I first moved to NH from VA. She saw me through moves, boyfriends, failed friendships, and the death of my mom. She was also there through publishing my first poems, building my life in NH, and meeting Stan. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her, but it does get easier. Don't be afraid to adopt again when you are ready. It can really only lead to good things.
ReplyDelete